'Runs like a rotary telephone thrown into a clothes dryer' - Hunter Pence's lost scouting report
Hunter Pence's lost scouting report is perfect
Broadcasters stumbled upon Hunter Pence's lost scouting report during Wednesday's Braves-Giants game, and although it may well be a fabrication, it's not a bad description of San Francisco's right fielder. Mostly the "throws like a man throwing a bookcase uphill" part and, yeah, probably that tidbit about "staring":
Never change, Hunter.