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Ichiro compares his offseason to being a dog at a pet shop

As we all know, Ichiro is the greatest person on the planet. He's a fashion icon, workout futurist, and even has a book, "Baseball is Just Baseball: The Understated Ichiro" solely dedicated to his quotes. That's the kind of thing reserved for prime ministers and, like, "Real World" contestants. 

Naturally, Ichiro is back at it. In an interview with the Wall Street Journal, the outfielder said about the long wait before signing with Miami

"That must be what it feels like to be a puppy at a pet shop. Amongst all the cute little puppies jumping and tumbling for prospective owners, there's one who's a little older, a little more mature, who keeps getting passed over for the more adorable ones. When someone finally comes along and points a finger at him, an undying loyalty is born."

Remember that the next time you're picking out a pet. Skip the "cute little puppies" and you just may go home with Ichiro. Or something. I'm not good with metaphors.