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New free agent John Axford is 'seeking loving team' in Twitter personal ad

Are you a franchise currently competing in Major League Baseball? Do you have a 6-foot-5 hole in your heart -- or at least in your bullpen? Then you might want to take a look at the notice the freshly non-tendered John Axford left on Twitter early Tuesday morning:

Ax isn't joking about loving film -- he correctly predicted 14 out of 15 Oscar categories this year. And if you're looking for postseason experience, he possesses the intangible of being completely unfazed when ice is celebratorily shoved down his back.