Ned Yost is America's next great self-help sensation
Royals manager Ned Yost held a press conference Monday in which he discussed, in part, the Royals' riveting run in the 2014 postseason.
Yost also supplied copious material for a self-help book, one that we believe would surely light American consciousness afire. Well, we'd buy it, at least. Some of his quotes need a bit of tweaking, sure, but some need nothing at all to be perfect pearls of wisdom.
We present to you: Ned Yost, philosopher and self-help book author. Get ready for the wave of the future.
"I think this is the way the game is. I think this is the way the game was -- this is the way the game got away from it, and now it's back to the way the game is."
Yost is talking about his team's old-school small ball style of play, but look what happens when we swap out "the game" …
"I think this is the way [life] is. I think this is the way [life] was -- this is the way [life] got away from it, and now it's back to the way [life] is."
What is life anyway, but a game we all play? It's a cyclical, karmic game; everything has a way of coming back to where it started, in the end. Well put, Ned.
"I think it's back to playing baseball, for the most part, the way baseball was meant to be played."
Again, just a few minor changes:
"I think it's back to [living life], for the most part, the way [life] was meant to be [lived]."
Who knew Yost was such a nostalgic?
"Do I like the three-run homer? Yeah. I'll take a three-run homer anytime somebody wants to jump up and give me one, but we don't get that many. We've got to find other ways to get it done."
We're not going to change this one at all, because it's just another way of saying what another of the 20th century's great philosophers once said:
You can't always get what you want (three-run homers). But sometimes, you get what you need (bunts).
"Well, it's a different world that we live in today, you know. The players are different than when I came up. The social media, the Internet, all the stuff that Andy is tweeting, all this stuff that goes with being a baseball player today, right?"
Not just baseball players, Ned, but human beings. You said it best 30 seconds ago: This is the way life is.
"No, no. Again, I've been called a dunce, an idiot, and everything else. … It just doesn't bother me. I'm really comfortable with who I am. I know who I am. I'm not the smartest dude on the face of the earth. I never claimed be to, never professed to be. But I'm really comfortable about who I am."
Soon, this will be plastered on inspirational posters in office buildings across the country. The Yost revolution is coming. His way of thinking will be embraced by the people of the world.