King Felix is King Tut and King Arthur in new Mariners commercial

The Mariners have released their 2014 commercials, and as usual, they're proving quite illuminating in revealing previously unknown facts about Seattle's players.

Not only does Felix Hernandez get a new kind of "crown" every time he records a strikeout, but fellow starter Hisashi Iwakuma has many more talents than his all-business mound demeanor suggests:

Kyle Seager is so old-school, he tweets with a manual typewriter:

Robinson Cano lives in a constant state of slo-mo and dramatic musical accompaniment:

And box score inventer Henry Chadwick was surely predicting King Felix's reign when he came up with the idea of "K" standing for strikeout: