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The Dodgers sign Scott Kazmir, finally realize dream of all-left handed rotation

On Wednesday afternoon, the Dodgers announced that they had signed Scott Kazmir to a 3-year, $48 million deal. Kazmir, in addition to being a solid starter and photo-shoot expert, is left-handed. Which is good, because apparently it's a requirement of joining L.A.'s rotation -- every member of which, from Alex Wood to Brett Anderson to Hyun-Jin Ryu to some guy named Clayton Kershaw, is a southpaw. It's a quintet fit for Ned Flanders' Leftorium:


Lest you think this is just some innocent coincidence, think again. The Cult of the Left-Handed Dodger runs deep behind it's fearless leader:


Catcher A.J. Ellis, for his part, seems unconcerned, probably because it means less work for him:

Thankfully, not all are willing to stand idly by and watch the lefty menace consume us all. Brandon McCarthy, noble right-hander that he is, is hoping to return to the team by the All-Star break after Tommy John surgery. In the meantime, he's using every tactic at his disposal to fight back:

He has quite the uphill battle, though. After all, the cult's history runs deep: