The Dodgers sign Scott Kazmir, finally realize dream of all-left handed rotation

On Wednesday afternoon, the Dodgers announced that they had signed Scott Kazmir to a 3-year, $48 million deal. Kazmir, in addition to being a solid starter and photo-shoot expert, is left-handed. Which is good, because apparently it's a requirement of joining L.A.'s rotation -- every member of which, from Alex Wood to Brett Anderson to Hyun-Jin Ryu to some guy named Clayton Kershaw, is a southpaw. It's a quintet fit for Ned Flanders' Leftorium:

Lest you think this is just some innocent coincidence, think again. The Cult of the Left-Handed Dodger runs deep behind it's fearless leader:

Hey @ClaytonKersh22 the entire rotation is going to use your glove as a sign of solidarity.

- Brett Anderson (@BrettAnderson35) December 30, 2015

One band one sound https://t.co/2xy1VH4EW6

- Clayton Kershaw (@ClaytonKersh22) December 30, 2015

Catcher A.J. Ellis, for his part, seems unconcerned, probably because it means less work for him:

@BrettAnderson35 @ClaytonKersh22 I'm excited....no more RH scouting reports....so much more time to steam and graze.

- AJ Ellis (@AJEllis17) December 30, 2015

Thankfully, not all are willing to stand idly by and watch the lefty menace consume us all. Brandon McCarthy, noble right-hander that he is, is hoping to return to the team by the All-Star break after Tommy John surgery. In the meantime, he's using every tactic at his disposal to fight back:

.@Dodgers This is blatant handism and I'm filing a hostile workplace grievance

- Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) December 30, 2015

He has quite the uphill battle, though. After all, the cult's history runs deep:

What a great day to officially be a Dodger! Happy birthday to my lefty idol Sandy Koufax!

- Scott Kazmir (@scottkazmir19) December 30, 2015