Marlins fan sprouts Dee Gordon and Giancarlo Stanton's faces on the back of his head

Remember the end of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone"? Of course you do - it's the one where you find out that Professor Quirrell was literally a two-faced villain (we'd say spoiler alert, but come on, catch up):

Well, this Marlins fan's life is just like that, except instead of having an evil wizard sharing his skull, he's got All-Stars Dee Gordon and Giancarlo Stanton:

Accio barber! We want this 'do for ourselves.