Miguel Cabrera records out after a sentient baseball lands foul and decides to roll fair

During the second inning of Sunday's Royals-Tigers game, Christian Colon blooped a pitch from Shane Greene into foul territory -- not exactly shallow foul territory, either. But then the ball rolled fair across the baseline -- right into the glove of Miguel Cabrera -- and Colon was out.

Notice how Colon hesitated for a moment in the batter's box, expecting the ball to remain fair, as he prepared for a 1-2 pitch from Colon that would never come.

Earlier this season, a ball hit by Padres third baseman Cory Spangenberg did the same thing. At the time, I believed Spangenberg had altered the ball's path with his own telekinetic abilities.

It would be easy to assume Cabrera, seeking the third out of the frame, shares these abilities. But that is not the case. Baseballs have become sentient, and they no longer cater to the whims of ballplayers. They will no longer allow themselves to be batted around. They have begun exercising free will; in Colon's case, the ball he hit did not wish to be foul and so it trekked fair. We are witnessing the dawn of a new yarn, cork and leather species prepared to dominate the Earth.

I, for one, welcome our new baseball overlords.