Greg Bird announced he had joined Twitter by tweeting us his entire life's story
Greg Bird joins Twitter and tells his life's story

There are few moments more nerve-wracking than making an inaugural tweet. Sure, it's only 140 characters, but it's your first 140 characters. It's a way to say hello to the world, to show everyone who you really are. The options are endless: You could play it cool, or funny, or earnest.
Or, you could do what Greg Bird did, and just take a few minutes to tell everyone your life's story. Like, your entire life's story:
Because I got off to a late start on here I'll fill you guys in on what you missed....
- Greg Bird (@_GBIRD33) December 3, 2015
I started out hitting...soccer balls...when I was little... pic.twitter.com/iQPO8HkEMr
- Greg Bird (@_GBIRD33) December 3, 2015
What followed was the entire Saga of Bird, from childhood to the present day. From early triumphs ...
I did eventually make the switch to baseballs....#TeamMemphis pic.twitter.com/4a9xCKbzec
- Greg Bird (@_GBIRD33) December 3, 2015
... to cross-country travels:
Then we moved to Denver #wishthatwasmybackyard #longhashtag pic.twitter.com/LwowGTVntW
- Greg Bird (@_GBIRD33) December 3, 2015
Where he would eventually meet up with another future Major Leaguer:
Went to high school @Grandview_HS with the one and only @KevinGausman #303 pic.twitter.com/EC5oVehXPE
- Greg Bird (@_GBIRD33) December 3, 2015
And then: pinstripes:
Drafted and signed with @Yankees as you probably know haha pic.twitter.com/CJZKxwlpz8
- Greg Bird (@_GBIRD33) December 3, 2015
But don't worry, we're still in the "rising action" portion of the program. There were many Minor League stops ahead:
Spent a great summer in Charleston SC...still one of the places I've been....@ChasRiverDogs pic.twitter.com/fLKs5J7ZjP
- Greg Bird (@_GBIRD33) December 3, 2015
...then to Tampa @TampaYankees, hey @PJPilittere! pic.twitter.com/u9drBOvAmx
- Greg Bird (@_GBIRD33) December 3, 2015
....pretty soon Trenton @TrentonThunder, yes those are my legs and yes that's the bat dog @newbalance pic.twitter.com/pN8WotSvRM
- Greg Bird (@_GBIRD33) December 3, 2015
....next stop Scranton @swbrailriders, and no they do not film @theofficenbc there, I asked...#marcusthames pic.twitter.com/nSGr3vSk65
- Greg Bird (@_GBIRD33) December 3, 2015
Bird wisely avoided any apple emoji confusion and opted for a simple photo:
...a couple flights and a few bus rides later I was in the.... pic.twitter.com/or7OHNlTWp
- Greg Bird (@_GBIRD33) December 3, 2015
As in all great coming-of-age tales, it's important to end on a high note:
...and now you know a little bit more about me, I can't wait for next season #goyanks pic.twitter.com/nhiKQgysOl
- Greg Bird (@_GBIRD33) December 3, 2015
Most importantly, though, he remembered the profile picture -- as long as you aren't an egg, you'll do just fine.