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Greg Bird announced he had joined Twitter by tweeting us his entire life's story

Greg Bird joins Twitter and tells his life's story

There are few moments more nerve-wracking than making an inaugural tweet. Sure, it's only 140 characters, but it's your first 140 characters. It's a way to say hello to the world, to show everyone who you really are. The options are endless: You could play it cool, or funny, or earnest.

Or, you could do what Greg Bird did, and just take a few minutes to tell everyone your life's story. Like, your entire life's story:

 

What followed was the entire Saga of Bird, from childhood to the present day. From early triumphs ...

 

... to cross-country travels:

 

Where he would eventually meet up with another future Major Leaguer:

 

And then: pinstripes:

 

But don't worry, we're still in the "rising action" portion of the program. There were many Minor League stops ahead:

 

 

 

 

Bird wisely avoided any apple emoji confusion and opted for a simple photo:

 

As in all great coming-of-age tales, it's important to end on a high note:

 

Most importantly, though, he remembered the profile picture -- as long as you aren't an egg, you'll do just fine. 

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