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Notice anything weird about this Derek Jeter shirsey?

What's unusual about this Derek Jeter shirsey?

By Gemma Kaneko and Bryan Hoch / MLB.com

At first glance, the above photo appears to be a man wearing a perfectly normal Derek Jeter shirsey. In fact, only a very skilled detective would notice … no, who am I kidding, this photo tweeted by Yankees beat reporter Bryan Hoch is completely insane:

Who is this man and why on earth is he wearing a Jeter shirsey with the number "31?" 

Lucky for you, we've rounded up some theories.  

1. Just do the math

Occam's Razor tells us that the simplest theory is often the correct one, and that's part of what makes this mathematical explanation so appealing. But our crack team of Cut4 phenomenologists has some questions about this. If it's supposed to be an equation, where are the operational symbols? Since math is a system created by humans, can it ever provide real answers? Is there even such a thing as a "real answer?"

Find the answers in our upcoming A History of Modern Philosophy in Shirseys. Yes, it's self-published, why do you ask?

2. A glimpse into a bizarro-world

It's always possible that this man grabbed his subtle knife and cut a window into this world from a strange alternate dimension where the Yankees called the Captain Admiral Jeter instead and a certain word was spelled "R3SPEC1."

On second thought, the "1" doesn't really work as a "T" so this probably isn't true.

3. 31 Jump Street

For the first time in more than two decades, Derek Jeter isn't in Tampa with the Bronx Bombers. OR IS HE? Maybe this is an undercover situation and current Yankees No. 31, non-roster invitee Jared Burton, is actually the Captain in disguise. I mean, look at those piercing blue eyes: 

burton

4. It's a language barrier

Did you know that in French, "jeter" means "to fly?" Perhaps this shirsey-wearer is a Francophone fan of Ichiro's who gave the former No. 31 outfielder his own nickname based on the way he flies around the bases. As to why he doesn't know who Jeter is in the first place or that Ichiro plays for the Marlins now, well, they don't call it the Great Parisian Pastime, OK?

I could go on and on, because there's no way that there's just a clean and simple explanation, right?

Oh. Welp. 

Said Hoch: 

Jeter wore No. 31 as a 20-year-old prospect with the Class-A Yankees in 1994. It's surely no coincidence that Jeter's boyhood hero, Dave Winfield, donned No. 31 during his tenure in the Bronx -- Jeter has said that he once owned a customized No. 31 jersey and wore it proudly while growing up.

And that iconic 2? Not intentional: 

"I didn't choose it. I was just given it," Jeter explained last year. "I assume that was because it was the smallest jersey at the time. I think (infielder Mike) Gallego had No. 2 before me. It was probably the only one that fit me. So no, I didn't choose it."

... But are we totally sure Jeter's not hanging out somewhere in Tampa in disguise?

Read More: New York Yankees