This young Rangers fan can solve a Rubik's Cube faster than David Ortiz's home run trot

Viewers of Tuesday night's Astros-Rangers game may have wondered why the broadcast cut away from the action on the field to bring us a young fan sitting just above the Texas dugout. As it turned out, that wasn't a young fan at all, but rather a superhero in disguise, capable of leaping tall buildings and solving Rubik's Cubes in the blink of an eye:

The broadcast clocked the fan -- named Ethan -- at exactly 30 seconds, which we swear isn't a typo.

As impressive as it was, Ethan's blazing display got us to thinking -- just how fast is 30 seconds? Is it, say, inside-the-park home run fast, or Aroldis Chapman fastball fast? (Just kidding, nothing is as fast as an Aroldis Chapman fastball.) And so, our scientific curiosity piqued, we set out to find a few baseball things that Ethan and his Rubik's Cube could beat in a race. 

Victor Martinez's very, very slow home run trot

When Victor Martinez clubbed his first home run off Chris Sale in May, he really savored the moment:

That beauty was clocked by the good folks over at Tater Trot Tracker at over 33 seconds, meaning Ethan could run out, grab a snack and still have some time to spare. For those keeping score at home, according to the Tater Trot leaderboard only one other trot has eclipsed the 30-second mark in 2015 -- slow-trot staple David Ortiz, on April 10.

One Japanese player's interpretive dance routine

Remember this? Of course you do, because you've definitely watched it at least once a day for the last two weeks:

どこの高校の誰か気になる（笑） "@kiwami_douga: 噂の代打やばい�� たくさん種類あるwww pic.twitter.com/hGMxo4wFU3"

- ダルビッシュ有(Yu Darvish) (@faridyu) July 23, 2015

That video clocked in at almost exactly 30 seconds itself, which might be a coincidence, or might be a sign that the Illuminati of Rubik's Cube-solving baseball gymnasts is here to take over the world. 

One of Yu Darvish's many eephuses

Okay, so maybe they don't actually take 30 seconds to get to home plate, but considering that Yu can dial up his fastball to 98 when he feels like it, tossing 55-mph junk up there turns professional hitters like Torii Hunter into a Bugs Bunny cartoon: