'Don't be peeing on the toilet seat!' Rockies coach gives kid great life advice
Rockies first-base coach Rene Lachemann has upheld a heartwarming tradition for nearly 10 years. Every time Colorado comes up to bat, Lach chooses a young fan from the stands, hands him or her a souvenir ball, and proceeds to drop some wisdom. It is the best.
At Citizens Bank Park on Wednesday, Lachemann schooled this disoriented but appreciative young Phillies fan. The highlights:
"When your dad says take the trash out, take it out. When your mother tells you to clean your room up, you clean it up."
"If you go to the bathroom, you lift the toilet seat up. Don't be peeing on the toilet seat."
"You got a cell phone? Don't get one. Causes cancer."
"You play video games? Don't do that, either. You'll be a dummy like the rest of these idiots out here."
"You come home from school, the first thing you do is your homework."
And last but not least:
"You go ahead and sit on down because you're going to watch the Rockies come back and whip up on these Phillies. See you later, buddy."
Watch the video, if only to see Lach stare down the increasingly giggly sideline reporter who's trying to describe him. Rene Lachemann: American hero.
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