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Starting Nine: 1 down, 161 to go

Many things are happening -- on Cut4, in baseball and out there in the rest of the world. Here are nine you need to know about today:

1. We're just getting started?
In the past 48 hours, there have been 13 games. In the next 48 hours? 21. If you thought Monday was a heavenly baseball overload, just wait. And to anyone who says these early games don't matter much, we respond: every win counts. Win a few more games in April, and you don't need to rely on Dan Johnson homers in September to reach the postseason.

2. Bryce Harper may or may not be a human being
Homering in your first at-bat of the season is impressive. Doing it twice in a row is just showing off. Harper followed that up by showing bunt in his third plate appearance, which we believe is what the kids call "trolling."

3. Who needs a DH?
The Dodgers' first run of the season came on a Clayton Kershaw long ball, which is pretty impressive considering the kid also pitches a little bit. Guys, this team might be OK until Hanley Ramirez gets back. 

4. But Dodger Stadium's real fireworks came before the first pitch
Seriously, how cool are the Dodgers right now? Next thing you know, Jay-Z will play seven shows at Dodger Stadium and they'll trade for Joe Johnson. This is how it begins ...

5. John Jaso's seen enough perfect games, thank you very much
The Oakland catcher caught Felix Hernandez's perfecto last year, and King Felix was so thankful that he bought a lovely Rolex for Jaso. Then, last night, Hernandez was spitting fire. Well, until he saw John Jaso.

6. Change-up we can believe in
As you're well aware by now, our president is a White Sox fan. To celebrate the storied legacy of baseball and the Commander in Chief, we took a look at the pitching mechanics of every Prez dating back to FDR. Some were better than others.

7. And now, a rosin bag randomly exploding into a cloud of dust
Womp womp.

8. It's April 1st today. APRIL FOOLS!
Yeah, it's actually April 2nd. Fine. But that doesn't mean we can't relive some of the better baseball pranks we've seen. I mean, altering Kelly Johnson's walk-up song? Hallelujah.

9. Shakira, Shakira
The Voice was on last night. You watched it, didn't you? It's okay. You can admit it. Former All-Star Tony Oliva did too, and he's not ashamed to say so.

-- Cut4 staff