Terry Francona pranks his former bullpen coach Kevin Cash ... but is there more to the story?
Be careful where you park when Terry Francona's around. Before the Indians finished sweeping the Rays during a four-game series on Thursday, Francona and another unidentified "uniformed" Cleveland player and/or coach stole into the parking lot and wrote "Zep says hi" on Kevin Cash's car. Which likely stands for Indians pitcher Marc Rzepczynski.
It certainly makes sense that Rzepczynski and Francona would be behind the prank -- after all, Cash was the Indians bullpen coach for the last two years before moving to Tampa Bay.
But is that the real story? The actual truth? Or is that just the story The Man wants you to believe? Here are a few things that just don't match up.
- Why write "Zep was here?" It's too on the nose. Why point the finger so directly? Who would prank someone that way?
- Unless "ZEP" is actually a reference to Zone d'Education Prioritaire, a term for the high-priority schools in France. Which means we're looking for a French second soapman.
- But since there's no one on the Indians from France and Jeff Francoeur is on the Phillies, is this a dead end? A red herring? Absolutely not. Once you realize that Francisco Lindor's name is actually "France is Colin Dor." Or, phonetically, "France is calling door."
- But which door? Look to the door on Kevin Cash's car. It's washed out from the reflected sunlight, right? Wrong. That was a clever ploy set up by the inside man thinking it would hide his tracks. But thanks to a friend of ours in the Bureau, we were able to enhance this footage.
I SAID ENHANCE:
That's right! It was a frame up job all along, orchestrated by Kevin Cash himself! Why? That I don't know. If you weren't aware, I'm not actually a detective. I just like reading Raymond Chandler novels.