The ultimate lineup of True American Heroes (or the most patriotic player puns we could think of)
The ultimate lineup of True American Heroes (or the most patriotic player puns we could think of)
On July 4, 1776 (or some day close to that date), a group of colonial statesmen declared their independence from Great Britain, and the United States of America was born.
More than two centuries later, Americans all across the country celebrate the anniversary of that immaculate secession exactly the way our forefathers intended: by wearing star-spangled tank tops, shooting off fireworks and eating any meat product that can be cooked on a grill.
In an effort to celebrate the patriotic occasion, here is the most patriotic lineup, rotation and bullpen of current players you could possibly imagine.
Rotation
"Cuatro de" Julio Teheran
"James" Madison Bumgarner
Tyson "Betsy" Ross
"Land of the Free" Homer "of the Brave" Bailey
"Oh say can" Yu "see" Darvish
Lineup
Hank "Continental" Conger-ess, Catcher
Freddie "Live" Freeman "or Die," First base
Aaron "Bunker" Hill, Second base
David "Unalienable" Wright, Third base
Starlin "and Stripes" Castro, Shortstop
Shin-soo "Stat"-Choo "of Liberty," Left field
Ben "Paul" Revere, Center field
Hunter "Indepen" Pence "Day," Right field
Bullpen
Brandon "Fire" Workman
Jason Grilli"-ng"
Brad Lincoln "Memorial"
Joe Nathan"-iel Gorhman"
And, just for good measure, some historically great MLB patriots ...
"One if by land, two if by" Tom Seaver
"Free" Dom DiMaggio
George "Liberty" Bell
"Red, white and" Vida Blue
Robin Yount "Rushmore"
David Justice "for all"
Daryl Boston "Tea Party"