A few wonderfully Canadian things for Troy Tulowitzki to do now that he's a Blue Jay
A Canadian primer for Tulo now that he's a Blue Jay
By now, you've no doubt heard that the Blue Jays managed to land star shortstop Troy Tulowitzki from the Rockies in a blockbuster deal early Tuesday morning. It's a trade that's sure to send shockwaves throughout the league. We'll leave the actual baseball ramifications to smarter folks, and instead take this opportunity to perform a far greater service: Giving Tulo a bit of a Canadian primer.
You see, Tulowitzki's only visited our neighbor to the north once, during Interleague Play in 2007, so he'll be adjusting to a lot of new things on the fly as the pennant race kicks into high gear. And so, to help ease his transition, we've compiled a list of some important things to do in/know about Toronto. (And remember: You have a queen now!)
Befriend Don Cherry
Very few sports figures loom as large as Mr. Hockey Night himself. Within weeks, you'll see drastic improvement not only in your future All-Star campaigns, but your suit game as well:
Hire Munenori Kawasaki as your personal trainer
Proud Canuck Kawasaki can absolutely help the transition to life north of the border. Relation to baseball skill and/or physical health? Debatable. Relation to richness of spirit and achievement of eternal joy? You be the judge:
Make sure to ingratiate yourself to your new team
This shouldn't be too hard -- they're pretty friendly guys, after all. Still, Canadians are known for their warmth and hospitality, and you'll want to fit right in. Here are a few tips: Learn the national anthem, pick up on some local lingo and maybe even come bearing a gift or two. We hear Edwin Encarnacion is in the market for a pet bird:
Grow a mean mullet, to better fit in with the locals
Oh, er, wait --
Nevermind, then. Moving right along.
See the sights!
Toronto is one of the most beautiful cities around, and you'll want to take full advantage. There's the massive CN Tower, of course, and you can go do some shopping in Kensington Market or check out the local zoo -- just, you know, beware of all the pigeons.
Eat as much poutine as you can get your hands on
OK, this one isn't strictly related to baseball, but really: It's french fries. And cheese curds. Smothered in gravy. Behold:
Our work here is done.