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Tyson Ross shows he is more than just a baseball-throwing dinosaur, crushes home run

According to some, the four things that separate humankind from animal is our minds -- our "generative computation, promiscuous combination of ideas, the use of mental symbols, and abstract thought." 

That's obviously wrong. It's dingers. I mean, have you ever seen a dog or a bear or an aardvark smack a home run? And if you have, could you email us because that's internet gold? 

That creates a problem for pitchers. Because they rarely hit dingers and we know that plenty of animals, even-long-thought-extinct-dinosaurs can throw pitches

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Coming just a few hours after Jose Fernandez announced his return from Tommy John surgery with a dinger on Thursday, Tyson Ross shouted, "I am a human being! Watch me drive some dingblasts!" 

And lo, he did: 

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It was the pitcher's first career home run after 119 at-bats entering the game. Turns out it was pretty fortunate timing, too, as he was the first Padres pitcher to go deep this season. Ross told Corey Brock after the Padres' 5-3 extra-innings victory

"We have a little side bet going on, but I'm just lucky to be the first one. Everyone on the staff can swing a little bit."

Ross also indicated that the homer was the result of some new swing mechanics that the pitcher has been using since shoulder surgery in 2013. 

"I've kind of adopted that same swing I had after that injury. It's been working fine for me. I'm really just trying to put the ball in play."

He would also pitch six innings while striking out six and giving up three runs, but again, we've established that it's not all that impressive as honest-to-god dinosaurs can do that.