Will Hunter Pence's rediscovered treasure trove of NES games help him on the field this season?
Hunter Pence rediscovers treasure trove of NES games
If Hunter Pence shows up to Spring Training with a bandaged thumb and red, bloodshot eyes, I think we'll have found the culprit: video games. On Wednesday, the right fielder made the greatest personal discovery any of us can ever hope for. No, he didn't find inner peace -- instead Pence stumbled upon his old NES video games.
But don't worry, Giants fans. While Pence may suffer a little sleep deprivation over the next few weeks, these games will surely aid him in the upcoming season. After all, Baseball Stars and Little League Baseball will help Pence shake off the rust in his swing.
Sadly, we'll never know if Ramon or Aaron ever made it to the big leagues:
And Tecmo will certainly prepare Pence in case, I dunno, Bo Jackson shows up one day and challenges him to a game of two-hand touch as punishment for defeating his Royals in the World Series:
(via Nintendo Player)
But everyone knows those games.
No, the ones that will give Pence the best edge are the ones that other players have forgotten about. Like Burgertime: the game that ensures its players get enough protein in their diets by ... having them successfully walk across burger ingredients.
Shockingly, before YouTube, this was how most people learned how to cook.
And next time that Pence and Daniel Bryan hang out, they can bond and yell "Yes! Yes! Yes!" while playing Pro Wrestling:
Though the Giants aren't playing the Tigers this season, should they once again meet in the World Series, Pence can prepare for Detroit by playing RoboCop.
He will need to be careful not to fall into existential despair when playing -- after all, if RoboCop is a meditation on the melding of man with machine, then what does it mean when a person sits down to play hours and hours of video games?
(via Retro Game of the Day)
While 1942 is sadly not the video game sequel to John Belushi's "1941," but rather some old war game, Pence makes up for it by owning the terrifying Ghosts N Goblins. Here Pence will have to defeat the likes of zombies, ogres and death himself to save a princess. Which is basically a metaphor for the baseball season.
See, this is just a game of graveyard pickle!
And should Pence succumb to any injuries this season, he can fortunately just pop Dr. Mario in and his bones will be mended in no time.
Really, the only question left is if Pence will be wearing the PowerGlove at the plate this season.