Yoenis Cespedes' agency made a coffee table book about how awesome he is

Cespedes' agency distributes book about his greatness

By Gemma Kaneko

November 21, 2015

Hello, Creative Artists Agency and Roc Nation. We have a bone to pick with you. Presumably you've heard of Cut4 Library, our book review feature wildly acclaimed by at least one very enthusiastic dad. So … why didn't you send us a copy of "52 Reviews," the coffee table book you made to show teams how amazing your client, Yoenis Cespedes, is?

Maybe we should have made a pitch book listing the reasons you should have given us one. But, since you didn't, we can only speculate on the contents of this incredible volume. We do know a little bit, thanks to EPSN:

The book … has a black-and-white cloth cover, runs about 100 pages and features laudatory comments and testimonials from managers, coaches, players, front-office executives and members of the media.

In a bow to technology, the book also has a video player embedded inside the front cover. Executives who push the "play" button are treated to an array of Yoenis Cespedes home runs, jaw-dropping throws and other highlights set to music.

… Is it this video?

We really, really hope so. However, apparently not everyone shares our exact level of excitement:

"I don't think anybody is going to say, 'Wow, that was a really cool book -- let me go lay out $150 million for Cespedes,'" said a National League personnel man. "But the guy does have a pretty cool highlight reel."

Well, National League personnel man, that's probably why no one has hired Cut4's staff for any GM jobs. But we digress. Here's what we imagine the book's pages look like:

Seinfeld

MOON

BIRD

These have got to be at least 80-95 percent accurate.