Prepare your eyes: Zack Greinke has cut his hair
To all D-backs fans: I hope you didn't rush out to buy long, blonde wigs so you could more closely resemble your team's new ace, Zack Greinke.
Because, in a twist more shocking than the end of "The Usual Suspects," Greinke cut his hair. Yes, that's right. Just gaze upon this haircut he showed off at the D-backs' news conference announcing his signing on Friday.
Here's an artist's interpretation of the moment his locks were shorn:
Though he first chopped off the beautiful locks in October, this was the first time the receiving public got a good view of them.
As for the reason for the look? Was it the prospect of a summer in Arizona's heat? Did he want to impress the new bosses on day one? Was it a horrible accident involving peanut butter and a vacuum cleaner? Or did he simply spend too much time listening to Pavement in recent weeks?
Perhaps we'll never know.