Is the hot dog straw the future of ballpark fads?

August 23rd, 2022

What is the line between genius and madness, between hero and villain? How can we tell the difference between a Johannes Gutenberg, inventor of the printing press, and Rear Admiral Bradley Fiske and his obsolete reading machine?

Why are we asking these questions today, on a website devoted to baseball? Well, dear reader, here is why: Monday night, in the Yankees' 4-2 victory over the Mets, there was one fan who cared not for convention and instead created the hot dog straw.

Yes, this intrepid Yankees cap-wearing futurist dug a tunnel through the center of his hot dog and proceeded to drink his beer through the hole. Those with sensitive stomachs should look away.

Now, some may say this is an affront to decency and the culinary arts. But perhaps we are too quick to judge. Some say the perfect ballpark fare is a beer and a hot dog -- and this intrepid soul gets a little of both with each sip. And haven't we all taken a quaff of a "craft" beer that tastes like potpourri, only to be told that this was the brewer's intention?

The baseball world already has seen an intriguing blend of edible innovation. Was the Braves' Burgerizza -- a burger sandwiched between pizza -- really all that different than the hot dog straw? Should we have looked away in disgust when the Pirates unveiled the "Pittsburgh Cone" in 2019, an offering that featured a kielbasa, pierogi, Swiss cheese, sauerkraut, and Russian dressing in a waffle cone?

Perhaps the hot dog straw will be a one-off, never to be seen again. But then again, it could become the next great ballpark fad and teams will devote entire concession stands to its glory.

Yankee Stadium certainly does seem to be the place for these inquisitive concession lovers. Just a few months ago, another fan was spotted dipping his hot dog into his beer.

Here's to you, bold ballpark eaters, you glorious diners of discovery. For this could be just one small sip for man, but the start of a giant leap for all snacking humankind. 

(For the record, though, this has to taste absolutely disgusting.)