This 108-year-old Mariners fan became the oldest person to throw out a first pitch

Hey there, reader. Having a rough day? Maybe you just have no idea how to get those light switches aligned, or someone spoiled the death of your favorite "Game of Thrones" character? Well buck up, champ, because 1) George R.R. Martin will kill off another one in two episodes and 2) Mariners superfan Evelyn Jones is here to save the day.

Actually, we should rephrase: 108-year-old -- yes, really, 108 -- Mariners superfan Evelyn Jones, who became the oldest person to throw out a first pitch when she tossed out the ball before Saturday night's game against the Angels at Safeco. 

Warning: Feels fast approaching. Proceed with caution:

To further drive the point home, consider: Jones was 70 (!) when the Mariners were founded. 

Jones is a Washington lifer -- she was born in the tiny town of Leahy, attended college for a year at what is now Eastern Washington University, and raised a family on a ranch in Almira. And in case your Norman Rockwell quota hasn't quite been filled yet, she met her husband of 55 years at a dance at a local community hall.

Like any true fan, Evelyn takes cheering on her team very seriously. She watches every Mariners game in her room in her retirement community, so as to avoid distraction from any of her neighbors. As to the secret for her longevity, she keeps it simple: Some meat, a lot of vegetables and a little exercise. We are all not worthy.