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A's trade homer-robot Josh Donaldson to Blue Jays in exchange for dance-machine Brett Lawrie

Even baseball teams get swept up in the shopping frenzy of Black Friday. Late in the evening, probably after returning from exhausting trips to the mall, the A's and Blue Jays hooked up to make a massive, country-spanning deal. 

As Jane Lee of MLB.com reported, third baseman Josh Donaldson was headed to Toronto in exchange for fellow hot corner/second baseman Brett Lawrie and prospects shortstop Franklin Barreto (8th best in Toronto's system), southpaw Sean Nolin (12th) and right-hander Kendall Graveman. 

It makes sense that the Blue Jays would want Donaldson. While trading Lawrie breaks up the Canadian superteam of Lawrie, Russell Martin and Dalton Pompey, Toronto not only receives a third baseman coming off a 29-home run, All-Star season, they also get an expert on swing mechanics. It's like having an additional hitting coach on the team. 

That he has such great swing mechanics shouldn't be a shock. After all, Donaldson's clearly a robot whose prime directive is to crush laser-guided home runs (his second directive is to party). I mean, how else can you explain him hitting this bullseye during batting practice? 

In exchange for the All-Star robot, the A's will finally have some dance floor protection for Coco Crisp and his Bernie Lean. Though the 24 year-old Lawrie has missed action with injuries in each of the past three seasons, he's got plenty of moves. Just look at the action in the hips of the former first-round pick:

Lawrie

He's even got sick head-only moves, something that is perfect for rocking out while on a long car ride or racing on a luge. Something that, as a Canadian, I assume Lawrie is experienced at. 

Lawrie

By trading a laser-guided dinger machine in Donaldson for the jitterbugging Lawrie still loaded with potential, Billy Beane is asking the question that has plagued philosophers for ages: Are we human ... or are we dancer? 

Perhaps we'll finally have an answer to that question this spring.