Blast those offseason blues away: The 10 longest home runs of 2014 in GIFs
Sometimes the offseason feels like it will never end. Like we're trapped in a scientist's cruel experiment, forever doomed to wander in dark, cold, baseball-less desperation.
Some people say this is a sign of Seasonal Affective Disorder. Others simply call it the month before Spring Training. For these sufferers, I say let there be home runs. Because some days you just need to sit back and watch barrel chested men crank out dingers that defy the laws of phsyics.
So, sit back, relax and enjoy the 10 longest home runs of 2014 play in endless loop.
And if you want to watch the complete footage featuring announcers screaming "Whoa!" "Oof!" and "I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought!" just click next to each player's name. Personally, I can't wait for the eventual mash-up of broadcaster dinger grunts.
10. Oswaldo Arcia - 468 Feet
Not only was this a bomb, but this was the middle shot in a trio of homers from Chris Parmelee and Eric Fryer.
So congratulations, fearless man diving for Parmelees's shot. You have made your stamp on history.
9. Avisail Garcia - 468 feet
I really hope that Garcia sang his name to the tune of Styx's "Come Sail Away" while he rounded the bases.
"I'm Avisailing away
Set an open course for the outfield seats"
8. Giancarlo Stanton - 469 feet
Who loves Philly cheesesteaks? Giancarlo Stanton loves Philly cheesesteaks.
(By the way, you may want to prepare for plenty of Stanton on this list.)
7. Paul Goldschmidt - 470 feet
Paul Goldschmidt wanted to hit a home run to the moon. So the center-field hitter's eye needed to punish Goldschmidt for his hubris by returning the ball to the field of play.
6. Giancarlo Stanton - 470 feet
"Dear future me,
Today I watched Giancarlo Stanton try to blast a ball through Marlins Park. It was a good day.
Every Fan in Attendance "
5. Hanley Ramirez - 472 feet
It's a good thing it was raining, so fans had umbrellas to protect them from Ramirez's absolute missile.
4. Justin Upton - 477 feet
Justin Upton just told this baseball "Up your nose with a rubber hose."
3. David Ortiz - 482 feet
What are David Ortiz's thoughts on Michel Foucault's ideas of power analytics?
Ahh, yes. Excellent point.
2. Giancarlo Stanton - 484 feet
Stanton is less a baseball player and more a perpetual home run machine.
1. Mike Trout - 489 feet
"Hi, my name is Mike Trout. I have been sent to this planet to blast lasers and colonize humanity. In that order. Hope you don't mind. By the way, FOUNTAIN SHOT."