Brad Miller hits game-winning double and becomes baseball's most fashionable player
Given the Mariners starting shortstop position when rookie Chris Taylor went down with an injury, Brad Miller has made the most of the opportunity, hitting 4-for-11 with a home run going into Saturday's game. And though Miller had chopped off his beautiful and Thor-like locks:
Miller showed that he still knows a thing or two about fashion by donning some gorgeous, teal-and-blue striped stirrups. Given his performance against the Athletics on Saturday, they also boost his contact by +6, power by +4 and charisma by +1,000.
Imbued with the spirit of fashion, Miller's socks gave him the strength to throw Ben Zobrist out at home in the bottom of the 10th to keep the game tied and then double in the winning run in the top of the 11th. Naturally, it is now time to admit that Miller is the most stylish on-field player in the Majors. (No one will ever touch Juan Uribe off of it.)
But Miller's ascent to the top of best dressed list wasn't overnight. Let's go through Miller's history and rank the looks with the scientific method of Blingee:
Why Miller ever came to the plate in these, we'll never know. He also earns only one creepy clown in a rare fashion misstep.
With his sharp and classic stirrups showing just a hint of white sanitary sock, Miller gets a very impressive score of Butterfly, Dancing Man and Cute. It was enough to get him on Mr. Blackwell's 10 Fashionable Players to Watch List, 2014.
By time traveling to the 1970s with the longer, thinner strip of stirrup, Miller not only gets one of the highest scores possible with floating hearts, but he gets a fun and funky fedora perfect for dinner theater murder mysteries.
High stirrups with stripes:
Finally, with his new stirped stirrups, Miller has earned the highest score Blingee has ever awarded. Not only did Miller rate the incredibly rare "Swag," but he also earned the ultra-precious triumverate of cat, kiss lips and red rose.
As for whether Miller can ever top this look, it's hard to imagine. Perhaps if he entered the field in a tuxedo.