The Indians bullpen is holding Brandon Moss' 100th home run ball for ransom
The scene: Kansas City, Missouri, inside Kauffman Stadium during the third at-bat of the fourth inning of Tuesday night's Indians-Royals matchup.
The inciting action: Indians right fielder Brandon Moss mashed the 11th pitch of his at-bat straight into the Indians bullpen for his 100th career home run.
The crimes: Theft of home run ball by 11 perpetrators inside the bullpen and the holding of said ball for ransom as to extort from Moss a list of 11 Apple products, $5,000 cash and a "50-gallon drum of lube."
"You get the ball when we get these items," reads the bullpen's very direct ransom note. The list of demands mostly includes a variety of iPads, MacBooks and Apple Watches, along with an inhuman amount of lubricant (requested specifically by Mark Rzepczynski). At least bullpen catcher Ricky Pacione had the wherewithal to ask for money.
No word yet on whether or not Moss answered the ballnappers' demands, but we hope it is returned safely to Moss soon.