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Cut4 Postseason Primer: San Francisco Giants

Cut4 Postseason Primer: San Francisco Giants

From 30 World Series hopefuls, only a few remain. In case you haven't been following every contender, here's a catch-up on what you missed and what to expect next. In this edition: The San Francisco Giants


Impeccably dressed in cream, black and orange, the San Francisco Giants have seemingly perfected their every-other-year style of postseason qualification. In 2010, they won the World Series. In 2012, they won the World Series. Will 2014 continue the streak? 

While the Giants will not advance in the way they hoped, settling for the Wild Card despite having a 10-game lead in the NL West on June 8th, the team will be looking to run the table in the postseason.

Here are the five ways that they got here:

5. Tim Lincecum's mustache

People were unimpressed with Lincecum's thin mustache when it was first photographed during Spring Training. This is because people don't truly respect the delicate growth process for the mustache and how it must be cultivated like a fine wine. 


And though things looked bleak when Lincecum first shaved it off, he soon grew it back -- leading to this moment nearly one year to the day after his first no-hitter


Plus, when the ol' soup strainer wasn't producing no-hitters, it was helping Lincecum look like a dignified manager


4. Horses love the Giants

For some reason, horses have long been drawn to the Giants. After hosting a beer-drinking horse: 


This season saw the emergence of the first horses ever to grill out in McCovey Cove.

Horse grlling

Must be the cowboy boots.

3. Yusmeiro Petit only gets outs

Coming into this season, Yusmeiro Petit had a career 5.20 ERA over 282 Major League innings with three different teams.

This season, that number was a sparkling 3.63, leading to his inclusion in the Giants rotation at the end of the year. Along the way, Petit set the record for most consecutive batters retired, sitting down a remarkable 46 in a row. He finished the streak with a flourish on this strikeout: 


2. Madison Bumgarner will crush home runs like nobody's business

Madison Bumgarner is a pitcher. Madison Bumgarner is a very good pitcher. After having his best year as a Major Leaguer last season, Bumgarner managed to get even better in 2014, setting career highs almost across the board.

Even more remarkably, Bumgarner has flexed those muscles at the plate, knocking out four home runs -- the most by a pitcher since Yovani Gallardo also knocked out four in 2010. 


Though he didn't get his wish of playing in the Home Run Derby, Bumgarner hit not one, but two grand slams this year. That should help ease the sting a little.

Snot rockets for everyone! 

Snot rockets

1. Hunter Pence

When the history of the world is written, 2014 will be known as the year of the Hunter Pence. Sure, the slugger with the awkward swing had his seventh consecutive season with 20 or more home runs, but Pence was more known for what happened off the field. 

Like when his scooter was stolen, only to have it fortunately returned by the good people of San Francisco

Or when Pence turned into a bizarre anti-joke meme:  


Which, somehow, improbably, impossibly, turned into a rap song that featured the actual on-screen talents of Mr. Pence himself

And then, there were the things Pence brought upon himself. His mournful dugout gaze


Or that he likes to pretend he's on Gossip Girl  when he's in New York (yeah, but like, who doesn't?). 

But through it all, there's that swing. That bizarre, loopy swing that looks like it's better served for churning butter, yet produces dingers like these. 


So, what can we expect from the Giants this October? A few predictions:

Pablo Sandoval may be early


And he may be late


But he will never be on time. So, you know, he'll be like commercial air travel. 

Greg Amsinger will peer deep into his cauldron and will a Buster Posey home run into existence

Rookie second baseman Joe Panik will deliver the key hit in a playoff game, sparking thousands of headline writers to dig deep into their Smiths record collection and write things like "Panik on the Streets of [INSERT CITY OF TEAM GIANTS ARE PLAYING.]"

Tim Lincecum won't dress up as the manager. Instead, he'll change outfits every inning, becoming a perfect double for every Giants starter that day. The umpires will grow very confused and ask him to stop. Except they won't know if it's really him. 

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