Two Mariners fans try to catch home run balls with hats, end up losing both the ball and their hats
The hat catch may seem a trivial thing -- after all, what could be more whimsical, more carefree, than sticking out your cap and trying to secure a baseball with it? But in reality, the hat catch is an art form, and, like any discipline, it requires diligence and experience to perfect. It is not to be trifled with.
Exhibit A: A Mariners fan, seated near the railing separating the center-field bleachers and the batter's eye. When Adam Jones launched a home run his way in the first inning of the Orioles-Mariners game, he saw an opportunity. The Hat Catch Gods had other ideas, and took the time to teach our hero a very valuable lesson: Respect the process, or your hat will be taken as penance:
OK, not great. But someone from the club retrieved the hat and returned it to its rightful owner, so hey -- no harm, no foul, everyone learns something about work ethic and/or the benefits of wrist curls. Right?
If only, guys. If only.
Exhibit B: We're in the sixth inning now, and Chris Davis just happens to blast one to darn near the exact same spot. It's going to come up just short of the railing in front of the bleacher seats, and so another intrepid Mariners fan -- who, somehow, is wearing the exact same color shirt as the gentleman above -- made the exact same move his fellow fan did before:
Take heed, all who may consider attempting to snag a baseball in headwear: Second only to the Based God in their wrath, the Hat Catch Gods' punishment will be swift, and will definitely involve you losing your hat.