Jazz, Lucius Fox and Vlad Jr.: Five best names from Thursday's international signing day
With the international signing period kicking off on Thursday (probably so all the GMs could sign their players and then head out for the long weekend), many of the biggest names on the market already inked some major deals.
Of course, that also meant that the best names in the international market also put their signatures on their sparkling new contracts.
So while MLB Pipeline has all the in-depth information like scouting reports and contract negotiations, we're more concerned with the esoteric futures outlined by these five players and their wonderful names:
SS Lucius Fox - Giants
Our Prediction: You don't really think it's a surprise that he shares a name with the business development and research head of Wayne Enterprises, do you? Of course not. Fox's bonus was not paid by the Giants, but rather from Bruce Wayne himself (Perhaps it's Bruce Wayne Ruffin, the former pitcher?), and his baseball career is only a shrewd cover for his work creating gadgets for the world's greatest ... spelunker.
OF Vladimir Guerrero, Jr. - Blue Jays
Our Prediction: This player is no surprise to us as we here at Cut4 regularly crawl the darkweb for any references to Guerrero family members. Watching him hit, we're convinced that he's going to hit a ball so hard and deep while playing in Toronto that he will travel back in time to play his father and his Expos in the Canada Clasico. We can't wait.
And while Guerrero Jr. is certainly a bit thicker than his father, just watch him throw. Are you telling me that his 'chicken wing' on the front arm is not a perfect mirror of his father's?
I am very pleased to see the development of my son. Thank my God for the many blessings!!! pic.twitter.com/RMWRCalRRM- Vladimir Guerrero (@VladGuerrero27) July 2, 2015
RHP Henry Henry - Padres
Scouting Report: N/A
Our Prediction: Following in the footsteps of the luminary Jose Jose, we're pretty sure that Henry and Jose are going to start a barnstorming baseball team called (obviously) Henry Henry and Jose Jose's 'So Good We Said It Twice' Baseball Team and Barbecue Sauce company. (Oh yeah, they're also going to sell BBQ sauce.) Naturally, Kristoffer Kristofferson will sing the National Anthem at all of their games.
SS Jazz Chisholm - D-Backs
Scouting Report: N/A
Our Prediction: Just as Miles Davis described jazz as the "notes you don't play," Chisholm's game will be judged on the balls he doesn't hit. Sure, when he hits a double to the gap, it will be exciting, but just like jazz, the ball two slider he watched go by will be just as, if not more, important. Also, my Dad will love him.
SS Fernando Tatis Jr. - White Sox
Our Prediction: Get ready for the metacommentary! While it's unlikely that Tatis Jr. will hit two grand slams in one inning like his father, we do hope he decides to take up the Twitter mantle that his father never did. After all, with a Tatis back in a Major League system, we could finally see Fernando Field:
And that's worthy of 100-level Swag: