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George Springer and Jarrod Dyson go head-to-head in haircut showdown

Last year, Jarrod Dyson unveiled his 'Zoom' haircut, reminding everyone of speed, and fun and that weird car commercial that was aired every minute for years.

Back in the postseason, Dyson knew it was time to bring the look back. And so off he went to his faithful barber who once again stenciled Zoom back into his head. 

But as the Royals took on the Astros for Game 2 of the Division Series on Friday, Dyson had a challenger for best hair of the series: George Springer.  

With business on one side and party ... on the other side, Springer made his play for the title. And is that even a "No" I detect by his ear, perhaps saying, "No, I am the one true hair king of baseball"? 


But who won? Besides the Royals winning the ballgame, 5-4, but that's small news. This is fashion. 


Hair should tell a story. And while Springer's tells the tale of Harvey "Two Face" Dent with his differing sides look, Dyson wins by having an actual, legible word in his hair. 

Advantage: Dyson

Jokes My Dad Would Make

This is a tough one as my father would surely make a number of truly, umm, "hilarious" jokes about each player. Whether it's a "Whoa! What does Dyson's head say? Went by too fast -- couldn't read it!" or a "Guess the clippers died during Springer's cut," this one is too close to call.

Advantage: Push 


But which would get more play in the MoMA? While you could make the case that "Zoom" is a postmodern take on comic book sound effects, being the hair version of a Roy Lichtenstein painting, Springer's takes it. The blending of a desolate hair landscape on one side, with a Joan Miro-esque swirl on the other, this one is simple. 

Advantage: Springer

On-Field Performance

Another close one. Though Dyson didn't get a plate appearance, he did come on as a pinch runner and steal a base, performing his primary function about as well as could be asked of him. (After all, his head does say Zoom.) Meanwhile, Springer went 1-for-3 with two RBIs and a run scored, giving him the edge, ever so slightly. 

Advantage: Springer

And with that, we have our answer. It's not the one I would have predicted coming into this one, but then again, you make do with the 'do you have. Or something. 

Join us next week when we debate which baseball player is blousing their pants best.