The Captain at the altar: A few suggestions for Derek Jeter's wedding
Derek Jeter, you may have heard, has confirmed his engagement to Hannah Davis. As this seems to be a relatively new development in the former Yankees captain/media mogul's life, he probably hasn't gotten too far along in wedding preparations. So, we have some suggestions for how Jeter's dream wedding could go.
Now, he shouldn't expect all of these to come off seamlessly. As far as I can tell from Steve Martin movies, planning a wedding is all about compromise. Davis likely has her own ideas about how this wedding should go -- so concessions have to be made, meetings have to be in the middle, things like that. But here are a few ideas to get Jeter's creative juices flowing.
Who else? The only question is who gets to be Jeter's Best Man. Well, he was Jorge Posada's, so ...
I mean, he could be literal about it and get an umpire to officiate the ceremony. But there seems to be only one possible choice Jeter could make for the man running the show on his special day: Joe Torre, who managed him to four World Series championships.
His dog, Kane, duh. Probably by carrying a glove in his mouth, in which the rings are nestled.
This makes winnowing down that guest list a cinch. Need to invite 50,000 people? Done.
The easiest decision Jeter has to make. Band? DJ?
Bernie Williams. Just listen to him shred the national anthem and imagine what he could do with Mendelssohn's Wedding March:
On second thought, the pinstripes might make it kind of difficult to read.
Just spitballing here:
"My dearest Hannah, you are the captain of my heart. My love for you is as consistent as my 20-year, .310/.377/.440 MLB career. Asking for your hand in marriage was the diving-catch-into-the-stands of my life -- I could've gotten hurt, but instead it was spectacular. You have made transitioning from bachelor to boyfiend to fiance to husband as easy as my transition from professional shortstop to publisher of The Players' Tribune. Let's win a World Series of Matrimony together."