After the Rangers won the AL West, we interpret the fan celebrations
On July 29, the Rangers were 48-52 and had a five percent chance of reaching the postseason. They could have packed up and looked forward to timeshares in Key West and maybe get a jump on their holiday shopping.
Instead, the team traded for Cole Hamels and Mike Napoli and watched as Adrian Beltre, Shin-Soo Choo and Rougned Odor got hot to push the team into first place.
With a one-game lead going into the final game of the season, the team sent its new ace to the mound and he stymied the Angels with a complete game, giving up only two runs on three hits en route to the Rangers' 9-2 victory. And when David Freese grounded out to end the game -- perhaps exorcising some demons left over from the 2011 World Series along the way -- the Rangers celebration began.
And the AL West champions banner was raised:
But the celebration that needs our analysis was in the stands, where the fans were stationed and ready to party. And since no one was interviewing them, we couldn't find out what exactly their frenzied hand motions meant. Fortunately, I'm trained as a fan celebration interpreter (unlike this guy) and know exactly what they were trying to say.
What was this friendly fellow saying? Goodbye Angels? Get out of the way?
Nope! He was simply helping out with parking. You see, that wave is the classic parking attendants signal for, "Hey! Your car! Yes, your car! You're blocking me in. You gotta move it THAT way! Yeah,well, same to you, pal! Bye!"
Now maybe you think this is just a group of fans having a good time. But once again, that's where you need an interpreter.
Focus on the woman in white wearing a cowboy hat. Sure, you may think that she's saying "We're number one!" but actually, as judging by the angle of her index finger, she's actually saying, "Whoa! Cameraman, look behind you! Aliens! Aliens are landing on the field and you are the only hope of capturing this 100 percent verifiable proof of the existence of ETs and -- oh no, they're gone!"
It's a real shame we don't have this footage. Would really kind of kill the buzz around the new X-Files series.
And then finally, we have this intrepid group of pallbearers for the living.
Is this simply a group of fans celebrating with a Rangers' reporter? Have his legs given out and they're giving him a helpful trip up to the concourse?
Nope. These crazed, impassioned, gleeful fans have simply decided to exalt this FOX Sports reporter as their new king and leader. Though you can't see their lips moving, we are almost positive that they're shouting, "Yo-Ho! Yo-Ho! Our new leader in red! Glory be his name! Hooray for October baseball!"
There was one Rangers coach whose face defies all interpretation. Sorry, but I've got nothing here.
Happy for the Rangers, but sad for Mike Maddux that his face froze during the ninth inning on Saturday. pic.twitter.com/SrYr3mmObI- Jesse Spector (@jessespector) October 5, 2015