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A comprehensive timeline of Jonny Gomes pitching one of the greatest innings in history

With the way the 2015 season has gone, you may have assumed you'd seen about all the different position player pitching archetypes there are to see. But with the Braves down big to the Yankees on Friday, we all learned a valuable lesson: You have not lived until you've seen Jonny Gomes pitch. 

Gomes is the Platonic ideal of the position player pitcher -- the beard, the unbuttoned jersey, the sure-why-not ethos that results from surviving five different brushes with death. And when the moment of truth finally arrived, oh man, did Jonny Gomes not disappoint. Over the course of one glorious inning, he flinched, kicked, flailed, hat-tipped and occasionally pitched his way into our hearts, and to commemorate this historic moment, we've compiled this exhaustive timeline:

- The very first hitter he faced, Chris Young, promptly launched one out to left, and Gomes seemed legitimately surprised by how frightening home runs are when you aren't hitting them. Still, he remains gracious enough to tip his cap in a sign of mutual respect:

Gomes homer

- Gomes very nearly plunks the next batter, John Ryan Murphy, but narrowly avoids disaster, willing the ball back towards the plate with some body English roughly akin to being caught in a wind tunnel. 

- Gomes proceeds to give up consecutive doubles.

- Gomes bears down, inducing two flyouts and looking to escape the jam. The man standing in his way? A pitcher -- seriously, Yankees reliever Bryan Mitchell actually came up for an at-bat. The battle waged for hours on end, with Gomes adding some aerobic exercises to help the cause:

Gomes kick

- He even went full Luis Tiant, because he is nothing if not a giant kid getting live out all of our wildest dreams and seriously, why not:

Gomes Cueto

And finally, just when it seemed the bizarro world struggle of position player v. pitcher would never come to an end, Gomes came through. PLAY US OFF, JONNY:

Gomes strike three

There you have it. We laughed, we cried, we questioned our very existence. Petition to institute the Jonny Gomes Pitching Stimulus Package one per season.