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Martellus 'MARTYSAURUS REX' Bennett's pre-first pitch interview Monday was an all-time great

Video: Evan Vladem / Real-Time Correspondent

Hoo boy. This is an interview with new Chicago Bears tight end Martellus Bennett before he threw out the first pitch in Chicago, and there's a lot to get through. Let's break it down:

0:03 -- Every interview, and I mean every interview, should begin with someone just shouting into the camera. Could you imagine if they did this on Meet the Press? We'd have 100 percent voter turnout.

0:11 -- That's how he gets ready for the game. Stretching? Studying the playbook? Checking in with the QB about the gameplan? Unimportant. I'm guessing Ray Lewis prepared for a game the same way.

0:16 -- Gotta loosen up that throwing arm. And yeah, it kind of makes him look like a T-Rex

0:20 -- "I do that before everything. Before I cook, before I go to sleep. Hell, I even shout like a crazy person before I shout like a crazy person. Don't tell me you didn't hear me do that three times. I'll do it one more time -- I don't care."

0:27 -- "See?"

0:29 -- "Do you, Martellus, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? In sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?" "HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

0:33 --


We're done here. There's nothing else to say.