Nelson Cruz is on such a tear right now, not even fish tanks are safe from his dinger onslaught
And lo, Nelson Cruz gazed out upon his kingdom, admiring the devastation he had wrought upon pitchers and trains alike, and he was pleased. But on Wednesday, as he traveled eastward to battle in the land they call St. Petersburg, he came across a vast and shimmering ocean -- miles and miles of expanse waiting to be conquered. And so, as his Mariners went to the ninth tied at zero against the Rays, Cruz decided to deliver a stern message to this newfound territory: No creature, on land or sea, can escape the Boomstick's reign of home run terror:
Clearly, Cruz's dominance can no longer be contained on land. Everyone in the Phoenix area should probably stay clear of the Chase Field swimming pool, just to be safe.