Evil mastermind Orbit casually tosses banana peel into Space Race, havoc ensues
Over the years, Astros mascot and expert Photoshopper Orbit has Jenga'd and N'Sync'd his way into a very special place in America's heart. I mean, just look at the guy: You may not know what exactly he is -- an alien from the Grand Slam Galaxy, for the record (favorite movie: "E.T.", a close personal friend) -- but that's irrelevant, because he's green and furry and has little Saturns popping out of his head and what more could you possibly ask for, you hearts of stone?
Which is why what went down during a break in Saturday's Blue Jays-Astros game hurts us so. You see, occasionally Houston will host a Space Race -- like the sausages in Milwaukee or the presidents in Washington, but with brightly colored astronauts (which, really, would improve any given situation). Rather than delighting in the friendly competition, though, Orbit took this opportunity to channel his inner Vengeful Mario Kart God, coolly tossing a banana peel onto the track and causing a three-astronaut pile-up:
YOU WERE ONE OF THE GOOD ONES!
While we certainly respect the craftsmanship at play (particularly the commitment to continue eating the rest of the banana despite, you know, not having a real mouth), we cannot condone such devastation, secretly hilarious though it may be.
... Oh, who are we kidding, we can't stay mad at that be-Saturned face of yours, Orbit. Just promise you'll keep the Bowser Shells to yourself, OK?