Are Brian Wilson and Portuguese soccer player Raul Meireles secret government clones?
Sure, you can close your eyes and ignore the secret Weapon X-style government cloning projects that are going on at Area 51. Or you can open your mind to the truth that there is a world of strange things happening right underneath your feet.
Case in point: Dodgers reliever Brian Wilson and Portuguese footballer Raul Meireles. To most of the world, these are two separate people with nothing in common. But for the truth seekers, for the brave investigators of reality, the similarities are striking and vast. Too many, in fact, to be mere coincidence.
- Just look at them. What are the chances that two men with beards and mohawks would play professional sports at the same time? Someone get Nate Silver on the line because I'm guessing it's about 0-3%.
- Their birthdays. Brian Wilson: March 16, 1982. Meireles? March 17, 1983.
- Brian Wilson attended Londonderry High School. Raul Meireles plays in the English Premier League. London, England anyone? Hmm?
- They're both great dancers.
- Wilson was a member of two World Series clubs. Meireles has played in two World Cups.
- Brian Wilson is already a master of disguise. Why would he have to work so hard at disguising himself if he wasn't the result of a top secret government operation?
This is only the tip of the iceberg, but I'm afraid I've already said too much. My IP address has been logged and government agents will soon be on their way to silence me. I must flee into night while I still have a chance.
Just remember, though: the truth is out there! And always tip your waitress, their take home wages depend on it.