Ryan Dempster showed up at a Cubs game. Can you spot what's out of place?

Ryan Dempster, currently sitting out the 2014 season with a neck injury, spent Thursday in the Wrigley Field bleachers watching one of his former teams take on the Pittsburgh Pirates. Take a look at the screengrab below -- several things appear amiss. Can you identify the five most glaring oddities? 

Give up? Well: 

1. Ryan Dempster is in the bleachers. Couldn't he call in any favors to get moved behind home plate? On the other hand, it's pretty awesome that Ryan Dempster takes in ballgames like the rest of us schmoes.

2. His Red Sox World Series ring. Dude. You're sitting in the bleachers with a 14-karat white gold ring that "features 126 diamonds, 16 custom-cut sapphires and nine custom-cut rubies." I mean, doesn't that weigh down your hand when lifting the beer to your mouth? 

3. The USPS hat. Ryan Dempster hails from Sechelt, British Columbia, so he should really be wearing a Canada Post cap. 

4. Rick Rubin apparently made the trip too. Does this mean Dempster is finally recording his long-rumored rootsy hip-hop record?!

5. As soon as I enter a stadium, mustard and relish seem magnetically attracted to any clothes I'm wearing. And yet the guy wearing a "Sauce" T-shirt is, somehow, completely stain-free.