Photo(s) of the Day: The many splendors of Bartolo Colon

Listen, we get it, it's Friday. It's been a long week and maybe you were out late last night because it was Thirsty Thursday at the local Glug 'N Chug. Regardless of the reasons, you don't want to read anything. You just want to look at pictures like you were ordering at a Denny's at 3 a.m. And with Bartolo "Human Highlight Reel" Colon taking the mound tonight, we know that's what you want to see. Far be it from me to stand in the way of progress. 

Here now are some of the many splendors of Bartolo. 

Did you know that he is multi-jointed? 

Or spends his weekends pretending to be a corpse for university students to study on? 

Or that he is a baseball clown? 

Or that his tattoos are actually a map to the Declaration of Independence? 

Or that his head is actually an anti-gravity chamber? 

Yes, these are all the true facts of Bartolo Colon. 

You may now resume playing Solitaire on your computer until 5 o'clock.