Re-casting The Grand Budapest Hotel with MLB players

The Grand Budapest Hotel, one of this year's eight nominees for Best Picture at the Oscars, is the first Wes Anderson film to receive the honor. In true Wes Anderson fashion, it boasts both a deep cast littered with Hollywood favorites and that eccentric/picturesque vibe that has become Anderson's trademark. The only thing it's missing: Professional baseball players.

What if we re-cast the film with MLB players? Why, that's a great idea. And, as the Oscars are Sunday, now is as perfect time as any.

During our casting process, we asked two questions: 1) Which MLB players match up with The Grand Budapest Hotel's cast and 2) Which MLB players simply belong in a Wes Anderson film?

Our results and reasoning are below. Let's get Wes Anderson to (re)make this movie.

Raul Ibanez as Gustave H. (Ralph Fiennes)

A wizened elder statesman who is passing his particular brand of know-how onto a younger companion. Done.

Rougned Odor as Zero Moustafa (Tony Revolori)

The player in Zero's role should be young, so the 21-year-old Odor's one year of MLB experience is perfect. Also, he shares the name Rougned with his brother. That sounds like a Wes Anderson movie to us.

Hunter Pence as Dmitri (Adrian Brody)

This is mostly about the hair, honestly.

Tim Lincecum as Henckels (Edward Norton)

Lincecum belongs in a Wes Anderson movie. Plus, his mustache clearly has Norton-aspirations.

Just look at him. He's practically a Wes Anderson character already.

Yasiel Puig as Deputy Kovacs (Jeff Goldblum)

We think Puig would have oodles of fun playing a detective in a Wes Anderson movie. And imagine a universe where Puig and Goldblum trade lives. Just imagine.

Ichiro Suzuki as adult Zero (F. Murray Abraham)

The core of the film is an adult Zero telling the story of his time at the Grand Budapest. At 41 years old, and likely the oldest position player in MLB this season, we bet Ichiro has a lot of stories with which to regale us.  

Bartolo Colon as one of these monks

C'mon, doesn't Colon just seem like a monk in a Wes Anderson movie?

Bill Murray as Ivan (Bill Murray)

Bill Murray once played professional baseball. Plus, it wouldn't be a Wes Anderson movie without Murray.