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Man vs. Tarp: Rockies grounds crew struggles against the weather

With post offices on Antarctica, Kate Winslet rocketing to space and running shoes custom-made for Sharknados, has humankind finally achieved dominion over the elements?

Nope. Not even close.

Thursday's Marlins-Rockies game was delayed by rain in the bottom of the seventh. Like the Reds and Yankees before them, the Coors Field grounds crew struggled to place their tarp as heavy winds puffed it up like the largest Jiffy Pop pan of all time.

When one increasingly damp groundskeeper dug his heels into grass, the broadcasters expressed their sympathy:

"Look at that poor guy. That's like -- remember that really bad show in the 70's, Battle of the Network Stars, where they had the tug-of-wars going?"

"Remember?" Sure, we remember. But "really bad?" Please -- we'd happily throw any three Big Brother houseguests into a volcano if it meant this show would start airing again. Come for Howard Cosell's color commentary, stay for the short shorts: