Sean Rodriguez would rather tumble to the ground than be tagged by Miguel Cabrera

Sure, as professsionals who are paid handsomely to be good at baseball, every hitter who steps in an MLB batter's box probably does not like recording outs. But do they loathe the very thought of it, right down to their core? Is it the looming bogeyman that keeps them up at night? Will they do just about anything, up to and including the reenactment of a "stop, drop and roll" video, in an attempt to avoid that most dreadful outcome?

If you think this is all hyperbole, behold the evasive maneuvers of Pirates first baseman Sean Rodriguez, after he laid down a sacrifice bunt against the Tigers on Tuesday:

Thanks to sources close to Rodriguez who are definitely made up, we have an idea of his mindset while backpedaling furiously to avoid Miguel Cabrera (and, it should be noted, allow the runner on first to advance):