Starling Marte's slide into second base can only be described as 'the front-flip belly flop'

You're probably thinking, "That's odd, I assumed that sliding into second base was a fairly simple endeavor, and one that wasn't open to much interpretation." Sure, you could go feet-first or head-first, depending on the situation or personal preference, but that would just be reinforcing the status quo sliding paradigm, man. 

Instead, may we all follow the example of Pirates left fielder Starling Marte, baserunning visionary and proprietor of the finest partays, who turned his attempted steal of second during Saturday's game against the Braves into an opportunity to ... play leap-frog with himself, or something:

Oh, and did we mention Pedro Alvarez ended up fouling the pitch off? You may not have stolen the bag, Starling, but you probably can claim the sport's weirdest standing ovation.

... Sure, that sounds like a fair trade.