The 20 best names of the 2013 MLB Draft
The MLB Draft is not only the event that lets teams find their stars of tomorrow. With 1,216 names called over 40 rounds last week, there are bound to be some awesome ones. The following, which are all honest-to-goodness real drafted individuals (you can confirm here), are our 20 favorite names of the 2013 Draft:
20. K.J. Trader, Boston (Round 39)
This would be a great name for a brand of outdoor and expedition-related apparel.
19. Zack Granite, Minnesota (Round 14)
Wasn't that Fred Flintstone's supervisor at the Slate Rock and Gravel Co.?
18. Buck Farmer, Detroit (Round 5)
Perfect name for an educational children's book character.
17. Justin Livengood, San Diego (Round 10)
Just wait to see how good you'll be livin' if you reach the Majors!
16. Wolfie Tash, Chicago White Sox (Round 39)
Sounds like a nerdy play-designing mastermind from a '90s kids sports movie.
15. Reagan Bazar, Pittsburgh (Round 33)
An ambassador from a mirror universe in which our 40th president was a Democrat.
14. Griffin Jax, Philadelphia (Round 12)
Best Mortal Kombat name, regular character division.
13. Nathan Goro, Los Angeles Angels (Round 27)
Best Mortal Kombat name, boss division.
12. Johneshwy Fargas, San Francisco (Round 11)
I have just one question: Hwy?
11. Hunter Green, Los Angeles Angels (Round 2)
Get ready for cognitive dissonance when he wears Angels colors (especially if they're playing the Athletics).
10. Daniel Rockett, Kansas City (Round 9)
I wonder if there's a lost '50s rock 'n' roll record with this title.
8. Amalani Fukofuka, Kansas City (Round 5)
Come on, man. Don't you know there are people in Eastern Europe who need vowels?
9. Rob Zastryzny, Chicago Cubs (Round 2)
Come on, man. Don't you know there are people in Polynesia who need consonants?
7. Dace Kime, Cleveland (Round 3)
Could definitely be a character from the Star Wars Expanded Universe.
6. Parker Bugg, Baltimore (Round 34)
That's the thing that turned Peter into Spider-Man, isn't it?
5. Venn Biter, Philadelphia (Round 30)
He must REALLY not like diagrams comparing how two circular sets are related.
4. Narciso Crook, Cincinnati (Round 23)
This was one of the Death Eaters who escaped from Azkaban, right?
3. Silento Sayles, Cleveland (Round 14)
Finally, I can stop thinking of a name for the villain in that James Bond script I'm writing.
2. Forrestt Allday, Boston (Round 8)
Question: Where do the cast of Ax Men work, and for how long?
1. Sicnarf Loopstok, Cleveland (Round 13)
Let's just all hope he makes it to the Majors.