Clammy Sosa devoured umpire in Reds - Phillies game

You were probably never taught this in school, but clams are actually humankind's greatest threat. Should they ever grow legs, chaos and terror would reign over America's coastal towns as thousands of clams amassed in unison against their cruel fleshy overlords. 

During Sunday's Reds-Phillies game, Clammy Sosa gave viewers a hint at the horror that lurks under sand and silt when he attacked this defenseless umpire:

Naturally, the Phillie Phanatic is seen cheering on the carnage. I tell ya, that guy is a danger in green fur.