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Vin Scully explains the Dodgers-Padres brawl as only Vin Scully could

In the sixth inning of Thursday's game, the Dodgers' Zack Greinke hit the Padres' Carlos Quentin with a pitch, clearing the benches for a brawl that ultimately saw four players ejected. It was not the prettiest of on-field altercations, but leave it to long-time Dodgers announcer and national treasure Vin Scully to lighten the mood.

Scully narrates the fracas and its aftermath in this clip from the live broadcast. The video's on the long side, so we've gone ahead and curated some of its choicest Scullyisms: 

  • "Quentin continues to amaze as he consistently gets hit by pitches."
  • "Quentin has been hit at least a hundred and nine times in his career."
  • "It's virtually impossible to read minds, but again..."

Scully believes that Greinke's throw was retaliation for a pitch that nearly struck the Dodgers' Matt Kemp earlier in the game. He spends much of this video euphemistically translating Matt's inaudible grumbling and generally probing the outfielder's psyche.

  • "And Matt is furious, and look out, here they go again. ... Matt Kemp, right in the middle, hollering at anybody who comes close."
  • "This is only the ninth game. There's a hundred and fifty-three left. And each hot player out there has to be reminded of that."
  • "'That's fertilizer,' says Kemp, over and over. 'That is fertilizer.' And he is hollering, I believe, at the entire San Diego team."
  • "Meanwhile, Dodgers standing around, looking and gesturing towards the San Diego dugout."

charge

A quick nugget of koanlike wisdom:

  • "And that's the pitch that everyone either forgot or purposefully remembered."

...and then we're back to Kemp:

  • "And now, Matt, of course, was furious. 'Be a man.'"

Scully first proved his proficiency in ALSL (American League Sign Language*) back in 2012, when translating Rockies manager Jim Tracy's rant to an umpire:

"He caught ... the blinking ball. He caught the darn ball. ... That is blinking fertilizer. ... You've got to be blinking me. ... No way. No blinking way. No bloody way."

Vin Scully: jack of all trades, master of ... all of them.

-- Molly Fitzpatrick / MLB.com

*Yes, we know that all three of the teams mentioned in this post are in fact in the National League. Submit to the power of the pun.