While Yoenis Cespedes was doing his thing, a Mets farmhand was hitting three dingers himself

Ever since Yoenis Cespedes arrived in Queens as part of a blockbuster Deadline deal, he's gone about doing just about everything ridiculous thing you could do on a baseball field -- throwing lasers from the warning track, channeling the various spiritual powers of tropical birds in order to mash baseballs, and even establishing his very own holiday.

But, astounding though they were, these feats were all mere prelude -- for, terrifyingly, Cespedes had accomplished them without ever having set foot in Coors Field, which has a habit of giving fly balls a nice, warm hug. And yes, it went pretty much exactly as you'd expect: Yo cranked not one, not two, but three long balls in the Mets' 14-9 win over the Rockies on Friday.

Cespedes finished 5-for-6 on the night, with seven RBIs and a stolen base presumably just to show off. 

These developments were not well-received by all, though. Truly, if Cespedes managed to do every single ridiculous thing, what ridiculous things would be left for others in the Mets organization? Thankfully, we no longer have to ponder this mortal query, for Travis Taijeron of the Triple-A Las Vegas 51s decided to take a stand -- he answered Cespdes swing for swing, hitting three home runs himself on Friday. 

We can only assume this will begin the next great global arms race, as Cespedes and Taijeron just keep one-upping each other until one of them has managed to make it to the moon, where they will establish the first lunar baseball colony and claim ultimate victory. You know, or something.