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You and your special someone can now be married by the Fresno Grizzlies mascot

Ah, weddings -- the happiest day in the lives of the lucky bride and groom. Family and friends, lots of cake, an excuse to dance terribly -- they have it all. (Plus, uh, eternal love and all that.) There's only one way to improve on this glorious occasion: Minor League Baseball, the only place on Earth that embraces mac and cheese as a burger topping and happily employs a man named Rock Rucker.
"But wait," you ask, "how could anyone manage to combine the Minor Leagues with holy matrimony?" Have no fear, the Fresno Grizzlies are here. Thanks to the wonders of the Internet, the Astros' Triple-A affiliate and renowned taco enthusiasts announced on Tuesday that their mascot, Parker T. Bear, was now an officially ordained minister:

As part of the Grizzlies' "My Big Fat Fresno Wedding Show" promotion during their Aug. 26 game, Parker will marry any couples at the ballpark who are interested -- just bring your marriage license and a love of whimsy. While this is great news, we would like to echo the question of one Daniel Wood: