Celebrate Labor Day with an all-jobs MLB lineup

Labor Day has come to mark the end of summer, the day after which school generally starts and you can no longer wear white. (Both of these things are kind of bummers.) That means it's time to get the last BBQ of the season in, and of course, to celebrate American workers by making the all-job MLB team of your dreams.
That's not part of your Labor Day tradition? Well, guess what? It is now.
C: Eric Fryer

The Pirates' backup catcher can either make you some delicious, unhealthy snacks, or minister to you spiritually -- his last name may also be a corruption of "friar."Stephen Vogt could also step into the role -- as we all know, "Vogt" comes from the Middle German for "baliff" or "farm manager."
1B: Paul Goldschmidt

"Schmidt" in German means "smith," which makes Goldy a fancy metalworker. Also available: The Brewers' Chris Carter , who can help you transport goods by, you know, cart.
2B: Matt Carpenter

Need a bench, bookshelf or an infielder? Good thing Matt Carpenter's around.
3B: Justin Turner

A "turner" is a person who fashions objects from metal, wood or bone by turning a lathe. Get it? That means Justin Turner should be able to craft his own bat.
SS: Brad Miller

Is it acceptable to wear fly stirrups while operating a grain mill? We hope so.
DH: Billy Butler

He will bring you a country breakfast in the parlor, whenever you so request it. Had we made this team earlier this season, we would have had a lively debate about whether Prince Fielder could occupy this spot, as someone whose name is both labor and its exact opposite.
LF: Hunter Pence

Hunter Pence: Can prowl the plains for dinner and switch to left field for the purpose of this exercise.
CF: Dexter Fowler

Dexter Fowler is capable of catching fly balls and flying things, as a fowler is someone who hunts birds. He and Pence will make a regular menagerie in the outfield.
RF: Aaron Judge

The young Yankees outfielder is also available to hand down decisions on pressing legal issues. But if you prefer a player whose job is a little more hands-on, start Max Kepler , whose last name means "a maker of cloaks and hoods" in German.
SP: Adam Wainwright

We wouldn't be that surprised if it turned out that Adam Wainwright could actually construct carts or wagons, like his last name suggests. Joining him in the rotation are Jered Weaver , Matt Shoemaker , Tanner Roark and Chris Archer .
RP: Will Smith

The Giants reliever can probably also make swords and various farming implements. He'll be in the bullpen along with Andrew Miller , Buck Farmer , Josh Smoker and Ryan Buchter (because, close enough).