Get ready for the ABL Championship with the seven best names in Australian baseball
At 3 a.m. ET on Friday morning (meaning late Thursday night, for anyone who struggles with trying to figure out which is which), MLB Network will air Game 1 of the Australian Baseball League Championship. This year, the Adelaide Bite take on the Brisbane Bandits in the best-of-three series, ending the Perth Heat's run of two consecutive championships and five consecutive appearances in the final.
The Bandits won the league's regular-season title thanks to outfielder Justin Williams (.342 average, 10 HRs) and shutdown closer Ryan Searle (17 saves, 0.40 ERA). Meanwhile, the third-place Bite, led by Kyle Petty's league-leading 14 home runs, had to overtake the Canberra Cavalry in the play-in series to make it to the final.
While that's all well and good, today we want to focus on something really important. Namely, the names. Here are the seven best monikers in Australian baseball - you may recognize a few from your favorite team's Minor League system:
Loek Van Mil - RP, Adelaide Bite
The #Twins' Loek Van Mil is so tall, he can probably see the States from where he's playing. https://t.co/9TqYAHTpgt pic.twitter.com/9thC8GwFRv
— Minor League Baseball (@MiLB) January 23, 2016
2015-16 ABL stats: 3-2, 2.93 ERA, 5 SV, 15 1/3 IP, 19 SO, 6 BB
MLB Affiliation: Twins
Loek is, likely, pronounced, "Look." As in "Look! Van Mil is 7-foot-1!" Even better is his full name, though: Ludovicus Jacobus Maria van Mil. I want to know that guy.
2015-16: 129 AB, .295/.376/.403, 2 HR, 21 RBI
MLB Affiliation: Marlins
This isn't just any old Tissenbaum. This is the maximum Tissenbaum. The extra X is for extra Tissenbaumness.
2015-16: 169 AB, .278/.361/.420, 6 HR, 40 RBI
MLB Affiliation: N/A. Played in Red Sox system until 2013.
The biggest question: Should I make a "Who's the Boss?" joke or a Boss Hogg one. It's a struggle that will plague mankind until the end of time.
2015-16: 0-0, 12.91 ERA, 7 2/3 IP, 8 SO, 7 BB
MLB Affiliation: N/A
Hayden Godbold was the original name for Catcher in the Rye's Holden Caulfield, before J.D. Salinger thought it was a little too-on-the-nose.
2015-16: 177 AB, .277/.318/.424, 4 HR, 19 RBI
MLB Affiliation: Rockies
Correlle Prime is not the name of a human being. Correlle Prime is the name of an outer space car robot who has been sent to save planet Earth.
Alternatively, it's also the name of the star of "Captain Correlle's Mandolin."
2015-16: 131 AB, .305/.386/.366, 0 HR, 15 RBI
MLB Affiliation: Tigers
Yes, I did choose this name solely to post that clip.
Alex Balog - SP, Sydney Blue Sox
For two months, #Rockies prospect Alex Balog played an uplifting stint Down Under. https://t.co/maATzPx2MD pic.twitter.com/5r8Nw8CHt1
— Minor League Baseball (@MiLB) January 16, 2016
2015-16: 5-2, 1.35 ERA, 46 2/3 IP, 45 SO, 13 BB
MLB Affiliation: Rockies
Given his performance on the opposite end of the world, it seems that Balog may just be the right pitcher to handle the thin, thin air in Colorado. And, assuming he does, we'll be right there to nickname him The Balrog, after the mythical creatures in "Lord of the Rings."
